Seven whole days

Here is today’s installment in the Festival of Infographics. This one’s by flickr user Michael Paukner. He explains it: “What’s up there? How many countries have stuck satellites up into space, how many of those satellites are working, part-working or just bits of junk? This graphic may help to enlighten you.” If you want to read the fine print, have a look at the large-format version.

Tip of the telescope to Gizmodo.

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As I predicted, the threats of schism are coming in from conservatives. At General Synod today, a report was issued that some conservatives didn’t like. No formal action was taken, but a mere report was enough to bring out high-handed pronouncements from supposed victims. Today Reform has issued a press release with this threat:

The ministers say that if future legislation fails to provide adequately for them, then they would have to encourage new potential ordinands to consider training for ministry outside the Church of England and to help them financially to do that. Churches would also need to consider establishing charitable trusts to finance their own ministries in the longer term. These costs would inevitably put a “severe strain” on their continuing ability to contribute to the Church of England. (emphasis added)

In other words, “we will not send our people to Church of England theological schools if you don’t see things our way. And we’ll stop paying our contributions to the dioceses in which we serve.” This is exactly how secessionists started in the US — they stopped paying their contributions to dioceses. Then the next step was to say they couldn’t possibly be accountable to “ungodly” bishops, that is, any bishop who had anything to do with the institution whose choices they didn’t like.

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As an homage to the MadPriest, I am hereby posting my first ever “blog a dog” here on 7WD. Check out the Big Picture blog’s lovely collection of photos of dogs and sleds.

If you are a church geek, dogs with their loyalty and trust make a nice diversion from the antics of some church folk. I like this photo especially: the human is towing the dog. Maybe there’s a lesson in this photo about present church conflicts.

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As a break from the tedium of the Angst-lican Communion, I have decreed this week to be a Festival of Infographics here at 7WD. The first one comes from Gizmodo.

Here’s the pithy description from Gizmodo:

This map by the European Commission’s Joint Research Centre examines the travel times from any spot on the globe to the nearest city of 50,000 or more inhabitants by land or water. The surprise? As NewScientist observes, less than 10% of the world is more than two days away from a major city using ground-based travel. That stat only jumps to 20% when scaled to the Amazon, where river and expanding road networks have made even jungle terrain semi-assessable.

I think this is a nifty graphic and some interesting data.

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The headline is meant to grab your attention. There have long been signs of sanity in the C of E, despite the decades-long debates over the role of women clergy, which border on pathological for the sheer scope of their procrastination and circumlocution. Suddenly (this term is relative, of course) things have changed. Ruth Gledhill reports that the Revision Committee, charged by General Synod with coming up with a workable plan for women bishops, has taken a new approach. She quotes an unreleased document:

This meant that after more than six months work we had rejected all the options which would have involved conferring some measure of jurisdiction on someone other than the diocesan bishop.  The legislation that the Revision Committee sends back to the Synod will, therefore, be on the basis that any arrangements that are made for parishes with conscientious difficulties about women’s ordination will be by way of delegation from the diocesan bishops.(emphasis added)

If you haven’t been following this, you may miss the significance. There were various schemes proposed which would have prevented very conservative parishes from being tainted by girl cooties. One scheme would have organized all the macho parishes into non-geographic dioceses with suitably male bishops. Another scheme would have allowed parishes to be peculiars of a suitably conservative and definitely male diocese. This one’s different, and it looks final. One hopes.

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For the latest in my “Tales from ACNA-Land” series, I’m writing about something that will be unpleasant for my friends in England. You see, ACNA or ACE or EACNANA or GAFCE or some such is coming to a village near you. Make no mistake, the secessionist agenda will spread to England as the C of E inevitably disappoints the radical right wing in its efforts to reshape Anglicanism.

Now at this point, all of my English readers are smiling knowingly and muttering something like, “Cheerio, old yank! This can’t happen here in merry olde England. That’s not how it’s done, guv.” Of course, it’s not how we did things in the US before the radical right began to seek the takeover of our national political, cultural, and religious life. (Reminder — the C of E does have at least one living schism.)

This is actually part of the problem in the debate over Ms. Ashworth’s motion to recognnize and grant full communion to ACNA. By denying that anything like this could happen in England, Synod falls into the narrative that this is all somehow the fault of the Episcopal Church. But I remind you that these secessionists have already branded both the Archbishop of Canterbury and the Lambeth Conference as “lost.”

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Today’s first installment of Tales from ACNA-Land takes us to Colorado, home of the Rockies. It is also home to Donald Armstrong whose ego must be nearly as large as the famous mountains. First, a little context. The Diocese of Colorado is a pretty diverse place, both geographically and theologically. There are some fairly progressive congregations, and not a few conservative congregations. The Bishop, Rob O’Neill, is no radical lefty. In fact, he co-sponsored resolution B-033 at General Convention 2006. This resolution was (rightly so, in my view) maligned by nearly all progressives and liberals.

So perhaps Bishop O’Neill is one of a rare breed in the Episcopal Church’s House of Bishops: a moderate. I don’t know him well enough to say if he tilts left or right. I do know that he does not permit same-sex blessing services in his diocese, at least not if they resemble weddings in any way or if they contain anything resembling a nuptial blessing.

So suppose you are a conservative rector in this environment. You ought to be pretty happy, right? No one’s forcing you to use Wiccan Eucharistic prayers or to ordain lesbians with their concubines. Donald Armstrong (formerly “the Rev’d”) was not content to worry about his own congregation. Armstrong has been battling with authorities (legal and ecclesiastical) since 2006, at least. Like much of the rest of the secessionist saga, it turns out that it’s not all about doctrine.

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For the latest in my series of “Tales from ACNA-Land” I’d like to share with you a bit of the world view of Anglican secessionists.The Rev’d J. Philip Ashey, the American Anglican Council’s chief operating officer and chaplain, described his groups efforts like this: “Like Special Forces, we go behind the scenes and we blow up things.” Isn’t that nice. Just like Jesus. Well, just like Jesus if he went to Bizarro World.

Before he got fitted for a purple shirt, David Anderson was interviewed by Larry King on CNN. Asked why he was staying in the Episcopal Church, Anderson said, “Well, I like a good fight.” He must be happy now. The more church property his colleagues attempt to purloin, the more fights he gets!

Speaking about the Episcopal Church and ACNA’s conflict, Bishop Robert Duncan said this, “We’ll leave and they can take the stuff with them to hell, because that is where they will take it. This is Good Friday and we have to face it.” Got that? Duncan is quite sure the Episcopal Church and everyone in it is going to hell. (Jesus had some things to say about those who would judge, but I guess that bit isn’t in Duncan’s bible?) Also note how Duncan equates his struggle with Our Lord on Good Friday. Of course, the only people getting killed now are gay people in Africa while Duncan’s Anglican friends cheer. Duncan’s worst inconvenience is likely to be an economy class airline seat or perhaps a mitre that’s not very shiny.

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A popular refrain among Anglican secessionists is that the Episcopal Church is in error, and that they (ACNA) should be the sole representative of the Anglican Communion in the United States. So you might be surprised to learn that ACNA’s leader, Bishop Robert Duncan, has gone on the record saying that not even the Archbishop of Canterbury is Anglican enough to suit him. Even the gathering of Anglican bishops from around the world, the Lambeth Conference, is not good enough for ACNA.

The Living Church reports Duncan’s remarks made in 2007.

“Never, ever has he spoken publicly in defense of the orthodox in the United States,” Bishop Duncan said of the Most Rev. Rowan Williams, adding that “the cost is his office.” “To lose that historic office is a cost of such magnitude that God must be doing a new thing,” he said. “The fact is that the Archbishop of Canterbury has not led in a way that might have saved his office and might have saved Lambeth,” Bishop Duncan said. “In this crisis, we’ve had no leader to lead,” he said. Asked if he thought that being in communion with the Archbishop of Canterbury was essential to being Anglican, Bishop Duncan said that being obedient to scripture is of greater importance than being recognized by Canterbury.

So if the Archbishop of Canterbury isn’t suitable, one wonders why ACNA seeks recognition from the Church of England. One wonders why the Church of England would even contemplate recognizing these secessionists? At this rate, Bishop Duncan will soon be in communion with only one bishop: himself.

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The Anglican secessionist mythology presents the idea that they are simple folks, innocently trying to be faithful Christians. Except for occasional inconvenient events like the release of the “Chapman report” (their careful plans to sow dissent and tear the fabric of the Communion), they stick to this story. The Episcopal Church and the Anglican Communion are sold as worldly groups, obsessed with public image, while ACNA is sold as simple purveyors of pure religion. Not so fast! Allow me to show you four photos I have taken.

This is the Archbishop of Canterbury at the final press conference of the Primates Meeting in Dar es Salaam in February 2007. Media from around the world came to hear the archbishop (just before midnight, I might add) share the final statement from the meeting.

This is newly minted Bishop Martyn Minns immediately after the real press conference, standing in the same room (paid for by the Anglican Communion Office). As you can see, he is holding a press conference to refute what the Archbishop has just said. Though they would have been within their rights to send him packing, ACO officials let him stand there and attack the Anglican Communion.

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Those who have stomped out the Episcopal Church in anger like to play the victim card.. The narrative goes something like this: “We are innocent, faithful Christians, just trying to live the authentic, timeless Christian faith. We have been chased out of our church. We just want to keep the buildings and things we bought and paid for. Poor, persecuted us!” Too bad that narrative bears little resemblance to reality. Over the next few days, I’ll explore ACNA-Land a little. You, dear reader, can go on a tour and see that the victim card just doesn’t work. We begin in Illinois, with the Diocese of Quincy.

Quincy had always been an Anglo-Catholic diocese of a conservative bent. Under Bishop Keith Ackerman, the diocese went from conservative to tragically militant. Though no one was forcing them to accept women as priests in their diocese, they developed a siege mentality. Finally, Bishop Ackerman and a bunch of clergy he imported from across the country (many of whom never lived in Quincy, but they were a handy voting bloc) voted themselves over to the Province of the Southern Cone.

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In the Episcopal Church, we are proud of our red doors on our church buildings. Never mind that they simply look imposing to many first-time guests, we just love our red doors. Maybe it’s time to start loving our online front doors. You see, we all know that we have to unlock those real red doors in order for people to come into the church. But it seems that a lot of us lock up our online presence — or more to the point, don’t really even have an online entry.

The Church Times blog reports that Sara Batts has been researching the online presence of church congregations. It seems that over 50% of congregations in England have no website, based on preliminary research. Can you imagine? She didn’t research the US, and I would guess that percentage to be lower, but maybe not by much. Just today I was chatting with a friend who is considering a cure in a surprisingly large congregation — with no website whatsoever.

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