What did the interwebs want to know in 2011?

This is one of my favorite posts to write, and it’s an annual tradition. Below you will find actual queries that people typed into Google to land on 7WD. I have not edited these. Because I care about the reading public, I have taken the trouble to answer these questions, which are a select few from thousands of queries which land people on my blog each year. If you look at the last two years’ questions (2009 or 2010), you’ll see that some things keep popping up.

What does God hate? God hates plenty of things. Shrimp, to name one. Also, bad typefaces, especially these.

How Christ overcame hell by descending into hell? Plenty of Christians think that everything about salvation can be expressed by the bumper-sticker saying, “Christ died for us.” That’s true, but it’s only a sliver of a great mystery and a profound truth. The New Testament itself has plenty to say about a more expansive view of salvation. For the best answer to this particular question, turn to St. John Chrysostom.

How do i know what God is saying? We don’t, really. Anyone who claims to know the mind of God with 100% certainty should not be trusted. But generally, we can test what we think God might be saying to us or to the church using the three-fold Anglican approach of scripture, tradition, and reason.

How to make a Lenten wreath? Don’t. Unless you are Satan. The Lent wreath (along with “Sarum blue” vestments) is an invention of ecclesiastical hucksters out to get your money.*

How to make a nativity scene? Make a Mary, a Joseph, and a Jesus. Add characters as needed. You’ll be fine. Just don’t make yours like these if you want them to last the full twelve days of Christmas.

Is Advent a penitential season? Yes. Don’t believe me? Read the collects.

Is gun control a good thing? Yes, to prevent this or this. Also, because it makes us safer.

Why are men wearing purple ties? They still love Michelle.

Why art thou cast down, O my soul? Because you need more caffeine.

Why is he climbing a mountain? Well, last year we established it’s because he’s in love, seeking to envelop the mountain. Also, because he believes his own psychobabble.

Go ahead, start asking the Googles some questions. If you land on 7WD, your question might be featured next year!

* – Yes, I know that Sarum blue is a real thing. But it’s not clear that blue is any more authentic than, say, black for Advent. Also, Sarum-touting vestment-wearers will have more credibility with me when they start to wear yellow vestments for feasts of confessors. That is all.

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3 Responses

  1. Tim Schenck says:

    Dear Google,

    Is Scott Gunn for real?

  2. Penny Nash says:

    Where can I buy some yellow vestments?

  3. Scott Gunn says:

    Penny, you’re in luck. Ebay and Watt & Co. have what you need.

    Tim, Yes.

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