What does God hate?

God hates Times New Roman

Please don’t bother me by saying this isn’t in the Bible. Plenty of things people ascribe to God are not in the Bible, so I’m sticking with this one. You will not see Times New Roman in any parish I am serving. Ever. In fact, if I didn’t mind liturgical creativity, I’d add these two lines to our baptismal liturgy:

Do you renounce Times New Roman and other ugly typefaces?
I renounce them.

Will you use attractive typefaces and pay attention to kerning?
I will, with God’s help.

From a wonderful collection of signs seen at the Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear.

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8 Responses

  1. Scott says:

    Times is clear, compact, and can be beautiful. Like anything else, it can be overused, especially when it’s simply accepted as the default.

  2. janinsanfran says:

    Hey Scott — what would you use for a baptismal font?

  3. Adam says:

    I must respectfully disagree. I’ll take Times New Roman over any number of sanserif fonts that are hard to read quickly and accurately, especially the ones that have two or three quirky letters that weren’t properly vetted by the readability committee.

    Thanks for the sign link, though.

  4. Scott says:

    Re: janinsanfran: “Hey Scott — what would you use for a baptismal font?”

    Adobe Waters Titling Pro
    http://tinyurl.com/adobewaters

  5. Justin Brett says:

    While you may be correct in your view of Times Roman, it is clear that God hates Comic Sans even more, for it is the invention of Satan himself.

  6. Scott Gunn says:

    Saying that Times is fine is a lot like claiming that a grilled cheese sandwich is adequate cuisine. Yes, it’s not going to kill you, but it’s not going to leave you feeling great either.

    Also, there are better alternatives to Times that are actually pleasant to look at and to read. Garamond for one. Even Cambria is better. Or for real Episcopalians, there’s Sabon.

    janinsanfran, for our baptisms on Sunday, we’ll be using Libra and Cambria.

    Justin, you have spoken the truth above all truths. Comic Sans is an abomination unto the Lord.

  7. Scott says:

    “Also, there are better alternatives to Times that are actually pleasant to look at and to read. Garamond for one. Even Cambria is better. Or for real Episcopalians, there’s Sabon.”

    On this we agree. I could read anything in Sabon, for hours. The italics make me swoon. Well, almost.

  8. I was hoping that Comic Sans would come up. I have a classmate in his 40s who takes all his notes in comic sans (at like 14 pt or he realllllly zooms his word processor in) and I can read it from a few rows back…and I shriek each time.