I am now Rector of St. Google
Effective immediately, I am changing the name of the parish I serve. What was once Christ Church is now St. Google’s Church. Why? Is this because I wish to pray to Google? No.
I want a ridoncuously fast Internet connection. Google recently announced plans to deliver 1 Gb/sec fiber to lots of homes. For my non-technical readers, that’s a gazillion times faster than whatever you have. Oh, you say you have Fios? Compared to what Google’s going to offer, you might as well be on dial up.
Yesterday, the mayor of Topeka announced that he is changing the name of his city for the month of March to Google, Kansas. I am not making that up. You can check the New York Times if you don’t believe me. The idea is to attract Google’s attention in order to convince them to light up Topeka (or Google) with this blissful Internet access.
Here’s the thing. Topeka has nothing on us. We are a CHURCH. That means your fancy Internet gets you a fast connection to us, and we’re connected to God. That’s basically a way for Google to get faster access to God. Can Topeka top that? I think not.
By the way, Google, one more thing. When you hook up the church, don’t forget the rector’s house.