True identity revealed

Miss Beezle-BubbI knew “Matt Kennedy” couldn’t be a real person. After all, most of the people who bloviate at his favorite stomping ground post under pseudonyms (not that I blame them, considering much of what they write). Anyway, I posted a very scriptural account on 7WD last week of God’s opinion about shrimp, and how it’s an abomination to eat it. Just like men lying with men. And yet “Matt Kennedy” posted a comment trying to say that one bit of Leviticus is the inerrant word of God and another part can be tossed out like so many Long John Silver’s wrappers.

Laura Toepfer, investigative journalist and priest, has unmasked the real person behind “Matt Kennedy”. It’s not pretty. Well, actually she is. Her name? Ms. Beezle-Bubb.

Obviously very attractive, she takes care of herself, but is not vain–no, of course not. That’s why she wears the heavy glasses. She only wants what’s best for you, my dear, and anything she says is there to help you understand. She’s particularly clear about grammar because grammar has very clear rules that anyone should be able to follow. Mostly, she hates it when you disappoint her, sweetie, because she knows you could do so much better than that. If you really tried and put your mind to it. Really, she just wants what’s best for you.

Next time someone named “Matt Kennedy” visits your blog, just say, “Get thee behind me, Ms. Beezle-Bubb!”

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6 Responses

  1. Elizabeth says:

    Ahem. Matt Kennedy is male. And everybody knows Satan is as well. So, why is it Ms. Beezle-Bubb?

  2. Scott Gunn says:

    Elizabeth, you can’t believe everything you read on the internet. “Matt Kennedy” might be male. So he claims online.

    I find it interesting that we are quick to insist that God is neither male or female, but that Satan must be male. What’s with that?

    Lastly, I didn’t do the investigation. Go ask Laura T. why it’s Ms. Beezle-Bubb and not Mr. Beezle-Bubb.

    Personally, I think it adds humor to the whole thing, which is the whole point.

  3. Laura says:

    No one would prefer evil to exist exclusively in the masculine more than I. Eve has gotten a bad rap for millennia, and her unfortunate daughters have been indiscriminately tarred as the source of both evil and temptation.

    I would rather Ms. Beezle-Bubb were not as she is, but so she has appeared to me. Seeing her in this form has helped me understand some of the voices of accusation in my own head. I hope being able to recognize her will, by God’s grace, free me from her insidious influence. God knows it was hard to track her down.

  4. MadPriest says:

    Ms. Beezle-Bubb does have a distinct look of that Kaeton woman about her. I think there may be some deliberate deflection going on in the first comment above.

  5. susan s. says:

    I think the glasses are perfect. I have no trouble picturing them on the Kennedy.

  6. KJ says:

    Ms. Beezle-Bubb’s true gender is irrelevant – just convenient.

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