When satire fails

It’s getting pretty sad when The Onion can’t satirize Christianity. They have a pretty funny piece entitled “I’m not one of those ‘Love thy neighbor’ Christians.” Here’s a sample:

My faith in the Lord is about the pure, simple values: raising children right, saying grace at the table, strictly forbidding those who are Methodists or Presbyterians from receiving communion because their beliefs are heresies, and curing homosexuals. That’s all. Just the core beliefs. You won’t see me going on some frothy-mouthed tirade about being a comfort to the downtrodden.

I’m a normal Midwestern housewife. I believe in the basic teachings of the Bible and the church. Divorce is forbidden. A woman is to be an obedient subordinate to the male head of the household. If a man lieth down with another man, they shall be taken out and killed. Things everybody can agree on, like the miracle of glossolalia that occurred during Pentecost, when the Apostles were visited by the Holy Spirit, who took the form of cloven tongues of fire hovering just above their heads. You know, basic common sense stuff.

Sadly, there are plenty of Christians out there who would say this stuff with a straight face and mean it. While it’s a distortion of the faith to accept just the bits of Law that we happen to like, it’s a gross rewriting of the faith to ignore the plain sense of the scriptures in their call for us to care for the poor and those at the margins of our society. I wonder what the world would be like — what our churches would be like — if we were known for our compassion and not for our judgement?

A thump of the Bible to Tina Russell.

You may also like...

%d bloggers like this: