7WD announces post-election plans

OK, so we’re about to call this thing, at about 9 p.m. Eastern time. Obama is going to win. Yay!

Just as in Major League Baseball ™, I feel the need to do some wrap-up. After the election, I plan to enter a dual season of celebration and purification. I will celebrate a time of hope for America. Meanwhile, I will be engaging in some kind of mental purging ritual after these many hours of Wolf Blitzer, the reptillian James Carville, holograms, sound effects, and vapid analysis. I think I’m going to get a complete set of The Atlantic Monthly and start reading from 1857 onwards. I believe that many of the sentences will have more words than the combined IQ of CNN’s political “analysts.”

But stay tuned to 7WD for further commentary! Do not rebroadcast without permission of…well, do what you want.

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