7WD EXCLUSIVE: New Dave Walker development
The favorite game of Anglicans who are up to something is to play the victim. Dave Walker is up to something. He is an Anglican. So, naturally, he is claiming to be a victim.
In this case, he claims in a blog entry that someone has taken a folding chair from his palatial tent. He further claims that this was replaced by an volume containing the Holy Communion service from the Alternative Service Book. We sent a crack team of investigators to investigate this situation. This is what we found.
Here is a photo of the spot where Dave’s chair used to be:
Here is the book that was left in its place:
There are several possible explanations for this. As you select the option of your choosing, please remember that Dave Walker is a blogger. Bloggers should be trusted only as a last resort.
- Dave was the victim of a chair thief who just got a copy of Common Worship and no longer needed the ASB Holy Communion service.
- Dave fabricated the whole thing because he wanted 7WD to cover him again, hoping for the aura of legitimacy that is conferred by appearance on these hallowed pages.
- Dave misplaced his chair. Someone (possibly unrelated to Dave) misplaced their ASB next to his tent.
- Dave is colluding with the rabbits. Having visited Canterbury Cathedral, they may have learned the importance of having furniture to lend gravitas to their leader. Thinking that a folding chair might work, they arranged for Dave to move it to some as yet unknown location. Since these RAFCON (Rabbits’ Anglican Future CONspiracy) bunch are probably conservative, they would have had no use for modern liturgical works.
I am interested in which of these options — or others that you might suggest — is the most likely. These rabbits are troubling with their universal “we are so cute” game. Everyone on campus likes them, including bishops of all theological stripes. Despite the bishops’ famed inability to agree on whether or not they are all Christians, they can agree on these rabbits being cute (and on the goodness of going to have tea with the Queen).