Seven whole days

This commentary appears in the current (and last ever) issue of Episcopal News Monthly, the monthly newspaper of the Episcopal Church. I thought it might get posted over at ENS, but it hasn’t appeared there. Since a few people have asked, here’s my column about church communication for our time.

My conversion to the idea that the church might embrace Facebook, Twitter, and texting came in a surprising way. I was standing in the back of a vast room in Columbus, Ohio, at General Convention 2006. Like lots of Episcopalians, I like to be in the back of the room when I go to church, and so I was lurking in the back of one of the daily services. When it was time for the passing of the peace, my cell phone beeped. Oops! Forgot to silence it. As I looked down, I saw the text message from a friend. “Peace!” Perfect. A good friend was somewhere else in the room, and he knew I’d be there too. We just couldn’t see each other. Still, we exchanged the peace via text message.

No doubt the church fathers (and mothers) would be a bit horrified. But then, we live in a different world now. My unseen friend used technology to do something that would have been impossible if we relied on the usual handshake or hug.

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We sometimes think of this as a Christmas hymn, but it’s really an Epiphany hymn. Text is after the jump.

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There’s a lot of lousy stuff happening in the world. In my own life, I’ve had more than my share of stress lately. (Think “crowds with torches” level of stress.) Well, I could use some good news, and I found just the thing in my blog hopper.

Scientists in Catalonia have found that the bourgeois world’s favourite drug caffeine improves cognitive ability, especially when taken in combination with glucose. The ‘active ingredients’ of coffee and cake have a synergistic effect, say the researchers, who report their findings in the journal Human Psychopharmacology: Clinical and Experimental.

According to psychobiologist Josep Serra-Grabulosa…

“Our main finding is that the combination of the two substances improves cognitive performance in terms of sustained attention and working memory by increasing the efficiency of the areas of the brain responsible for these two functions.”

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This week, all across the country, people who hope to be ordained in the Episcopal Church are taking the General Ordination Exam. It’s a week of writing essays on areas of knowledge thought to be important to the life and work of priests. If you look at the Facebook pages of clergy this week, you’ll see that most clergy (at least most of my priest friends) seem to think the GOE is a pointless hazing ritual, that it has little value.

I disagree. But before I tell you why I think the GOE is good, I’d like to ask one question. Why must so many things in the Episcopal Church have the word “General” in the title? General Ordination Examination. General Convention. General Board of Examining Chaplains. The General Seminary. The General Thanksgiving. The General Confession. I’m surprised we aren’t required to buy things from General Electric. I think we should go one of two ways. Let’s either go whole hog and name everything with General in the title (“Could you hand me the General Flagon so I can pour some General Wine into the General Chalice? Yes, General”) or let’s maybe be just a wee bit more creative. As usual, I have digressed. Back to the GOE.

There are three reasons why I think the GOE is still a good, if imperfect, idea. First, it requires potential priests to write lots of material quickly. That’s an essential skill for a priest. If you can’t write quickly, you certainly are not going to do well in parish ministry. There are sermons, newsletter articles, notes for vestries, leaflets for the church school, newspaper bits, and on and on. Fr. Matthew covers this topic nicely. Sure, the content won’t be the same as a GOE, but the skill is similar.

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So true. From Chart Porn, via MeFi.

All the other blogging kids are doing it, so we decided not to be left out. Here are some official predictions for 2011, mostly having to do with Anglicanism.

1. As Lesley Fellows prophecies, Archbishop Rowan Williams will recognize that the Anglican Covenant is a lousy idea and appoint Soon-to-be-Canon Fellows as his chief adviser.
2. Lesley will end all this silliness with Primates’ Meetings and let bloggers sort it all out. This continues good work already begun.
3. “Archbishop” Bob Duncan will realize the only thing he has in common with (actual) Archbishop Rowan Williams is big eyebrows. Duncan will stop pretending to be Anglican and do the honest thing. He’ll launch his own church: Bobby’s Bible Barn. Naturally, the main attraction inside will be the archiepiscopal throne: Big Bobby’s Barcalounger. His eyebrows will get even bigger.

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With the coming of a new year, many people make various resolutions or decide to take on some major new project. These could range from “sort the sock drawer” to “complete a major strategic initiative in my organization”. Quite often, these efforts fail at the first bump. Simply put, we lose our patience, our resolve. So push for the long haul! And remember, neither Rome nor New York was built in a day.

Here we see the Brooklyn Bridge, one of a set of photos of major monuments under construction — a reminder that things have not always been as they are today.

All good wishes for a holy and blessed new year from the entire team at 7WD.

Image courtesy of Big Picture, where there are many more photos of New Year revels from around the world.