Seven whole days

This is one of my favorite posts to write, and it’s an annual tradition. Below you will find actual queries that people typed into Google to land on 7WD. I have not edited these. Because I care about the reading public, I have taken the trouble to answer these questions, which are a select few from thousands of queries which land people on my blog each year. If you look at last year’s questions, you’ll see that some things keep popping up.

Why is he climbing a mountain? Because he’s in love.

What happens when you send a letter to God? If, and this is a big if, you can correctly address the letter, I think you will get a prompt reply. However, postage to heaven has got to be pretty steep. Prayer is free — and delivery is more likely.

How is gun control a good thing? It keeps idiots from doing stupid things. Example one. Example two.

How many oranges does it take to power an iPhone? Quite a few.

How do you become bishop elect? You are either called by God or you are a megalomaniac. It can go either way.

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Here are the Top 10 posts on 7WD this year, based on page views. Draw whatever conclusions you like. In any case, have fun reliving great moments on 7WD!

1. In support of Dan Martins
2. Tales from ACNA-Land: Duncan says Canterbury is “lost”
3. Anglican Communion woes? Be not afraid.
4. Killing in the name of Jesus
5. Hymn for Maundy Thursday: Brother, sister, let me serve you
6. Parsing Synod — what have they done?
7. Michelle Obama (and everyone else) wears purple
8. Tales from ACNA-Land: “Church Militant” gets new meaning
9. Tales from ACNA-Land: Putting the shoe on your foot
10. Of “bonds of affection” and misplaced anxiety

Note that number 10 on this list was actually a post from 2009 that surfaced on a conservative blog in 2010. So to round things out, the tenth most popular post written in 2010 was Episco-upgrades: Reclaim the mission.

Some themes emerge. My writing about the Anglican Communion, in which I either point out that the world will not end, despite dire predictions from the far right, or in which I point out ridiculous things the far right has said, are pretty popular. Anything you write about the First Lady seems to get traffic. And it helps to be one of the only blogs around that has taken up the apparently popular hymn, “Brother, sister, let me serve you.”

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After preaching three sermons on the prologue to John, my mental pump was primed to enjoy a word-related treat, thanks to MeFi. Robert “Dr. Goodword” Beard has compiled lists of 100 most beautiful words and the 100 funniest words in English.

So now I have a few beautiful words to work into my sermons. I will be using words such as cynosure, efflorescence, fugacious, mondegreen, petrichor, susurrous, and wafture. Fortunately for me, the word Epiphany is on the list too, and it shouldn’t be too hard to work that one into a sermon in the near future.

For those moments when one needs levity in a vestry meeting, I have a ready list of suitably funny words. Our leaders can expect to hear me using such words as batrachomyomachy, cockalorum, fartlek, gardyloo, smellfungus, and unremacadamized. I shall have to be careful though, lest I be accused of bloviating (another word on the list!). And decorum (combined with Safe Church guidelines) will prevent me from using the word callipygian.

Bonus points for anyone who can use eight or more of the 200 listed words in a comment.

Enjoy this stunningly beautiful hymn for Christmas Day, a raucous celebration of the Incarnation.

Of the Father’s love begotten,
ere the worlds began to be,
he is Alpha and Omega,
he the source, the ending he,
of the things that are, that have been,
and that future years shall see,
evermore and evermore!

At his word the words were framèd;
he commanded; it was done:
heaven and earth and depths of ocean
in their threefold order one;
all that grows beneath the shining
of the moon and burning sun,
evermore and evermore!

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Our little festival of poetry will end with a Christmas Day installment. For the penultimate entry, I give you the hymn that begins Christmas in the parish I serve. As this post appears at 5 p.m. Eastern time, we are singing this hymn with gusto in our Procession before the first vigil Eucharist of Christmas. The church is full of people, and the air is redolent of incense. Since I don’t have a live feed, you’ll have to make do with this excellent video from King’s College.

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It isn’t Christmas Eve until sunset. So here’s our last Advent poem, taken from the Gospel reading in the office.

Blessed be the God of Israel,
who comes to set us free,
who visits and redeems us,
and grants us liberty!
The prophets spoke of mercy,
of freedom and release;
God shall fulfill the promise t
o bring our people peace.

Now from the house of David
a child of grace is given,
a Savior comes among us
to raise us up to heaven.
Before him goes the herald,
forerunner in the way,
the prophet of salvation,
the harbinger of day.

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No, this is not Advent Man swimming toward the finish of a Sarum Blue Advent. At least, I don’t think that was the artist’s intention. This post is all about 7WD’s obsession with all things LEGO. What you see here is from a set of images over at LikeCool. If you fancy having one of these in your home, you can buy your own. Looks like they go for USD 8500 or so.

Like loads of Christians, I don’t much care for the phrase “Happy holidays!” I’d rather that folks would offer good wishes according to their beliefs, or lack thereof. Lowest-common-denominator pluralism is boring. This pablum-speak does not allow anyone to be who they are. As an aside, it especially annoys me when people come out of a 90 minute incense- and chant-filled Christmas Eve Mass and wish their priests, “Happy holidays!” Can’t we at least say “Happy Christmas” at church?

A couple of days ago, I was out in consumerland. Outside one of the stores, there were Salvation Army ringers collecting money, cheerfully saying, “Happy holidays!” to every passer-by. Salvation Army. Let me repeat that. Salvation. Army. These people are in the Lord’s army, out to save the world. That’s their lingo. So maybe they would consider acknowledging, um, Jesus?

This is the closest thing I could find to solid theology on their clean-scrubbed try-hard-not-to-offend website: “We believe that repentance toward God, faith in our Lord Jesus Christ and regeneration by the Holy Spirit are necessary to salvation.” Then there’s this: “We believe in the immortality of the soul, the resurrection of the body, in the general judgment at the end of the world, in the eternal happiness of the righteous, and in the endless punishment of the wicked.” Got that? You have to obey Christ or burn in hell.

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From today’s evening office reading.

Tell out, my soul, the greatness of the Lord!
Unnumbered blessings give my spirit voice;
tender to me the promise of his word;
in God my Savior shall my heart rejoice.

Tell out, my soul, the greatness of his Name!
Make known his might, the deeds his arm has done;
his mercy sure, from age to age to same;
his holy Name–the Lord, the Mighty One.

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Today’s Gospel text for the evening office is the Annunciation. Here’s an old-school poem and a great recording below the fold.

This is not really Advent related, but how could one choose another hymn on the Feast of St. Thomas? (Yes, I love O filii et filiae, but that’s sooo Eastertastic…)

We walk by faith, and not by sight;
no gracious words we hear from him
who spoke as none e’er spoke;
but we believe him near.

We may not touch his hands and side,
nor follow where he trod;
but in his promise we rejoice;
and cry, “My Lord and God!”

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Our daily Advent poetry installment is inspired by the Isaiah reading in today’s office lectionary. Check below the fold for some truly great musical settings.

Lo, how a Rose e’er blooming
from tender stem hath sprung!
of Jesse’s lineage coming,
as those of old have sung.
It came, a floweret bright,
amid the cold of winter,
when half spent was the night.

Isaiah ’twas foretold it,
the Rose I have in mind;
with Mary we behold it,
the Virgin Mother kind.
To show God’s love aright,
she bore to us a Savior,
when half spent was the night.

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