BREAKING NEWS: Dave Walker is up to something

When everyone starts to talk about it, remember that you heard it here first. 7WD is your exclusive source for all the news that mainstream media won’t report. Yesterday I broke the story of the stage next to Dave Walker’s tent. As you may know, he is the Cartoonist in Residence for the Lambeth Conference. Why does he need a stage? At first, I thought the “cartoonist” title might be a cover or a ruse, but I see he has produced his first drawing. So that seems legit.

Anyway, there is that mysterious stage right next to his tent. Given his failure to report its existence, and then his subsequent non-denial, I have assumed that he is part of a vast artistic conspiracy. My suspicions have turned out to be correct. Last night, I camped out near the stage. In the wee hours of the night, I got this image:

It looks like some blurry figure. Could it be a ghost? After some further processing, you can see what’s really happening on the stage.This was not Photoshop. This was the kind of processing they use on television police shows, like on CSI:NY when they have a blurry CCTV image that becomes crystal clear with one mouse click. I downloaded that software and used it. One mouse click later and I could see the shocking truth.

You won’t believe your eyes!

Yes, it’s Dave Walker himself. He’s clearly rehearsing some kind of dance number. Liturgical dance of a cartoon? Ballet of a Sunday sermon? Only time will tell. But I fully expect Dave’s title to be Dancer-and-Cartoonist-in-Residence any time now. If that happens, you can expect the focus of the Lambeth Conference to shift dramatically.

Don’t worry, 7WD will continue to follow this story through every twist and turn.

10 Comments so far

  1. Peter on July 18th, 2008

    Awesome….

    …glad to see that you are uncovering this breaking story…!

    I wonder who else will be dancing up there with him?

  2. [...] Scott Gunn has the following tabloid report: BREAKING NEWS: Dave Walker is up to something [...]

  3. Conspirama on July 18th, 2008

    BREAKING NEWS: Dave Walker is up to something…

    7WD is your exclusive source for all the news that mainstream media won’t report. Yesterday I broke the story of the stage next to Dave Walker’s tent. As you may know, he is the Cartoonist in Residence for the Lambeth Conference. ……

  4. But how does this connect with the awful thing I discovered at the side of the stage this morning: the feathered remains of a pigeon, scattered on the grass. Are there pigeon-murdering liturgical dancers on the loose!

  5. Jackie on July 18th, 2008

    Er, actually the first one makes him look like he was caught short and didn’t have enough time to reach the portaloo.

  6. Nicola on July 18th, 2008

    Isn’t that the Lambeth Walk?
    (no, not, not EVER, the ‘Lambeth Mince’)

  7. [...] (despite the World’s Greatest Living Ecclesiastical Conference Cartoonist’s attempts at liturgical dancing and pigeon killing). The fringe will begin with the conference moving out of retreat next [...]

  8. Scott Gunn on July 18th, 2008

    Justin (if that is your real name),

    I will send one of the 7WD investigators over tomorrow to collect feather samples for DNA and other analysis. We shall see what is happening here.

    I noticed Dave had chicken for dinner. He does seem to enjoy eating birds.

  9. Shirley on July 21st, 2008

    Scott, sounds like you may need a singer to accompany Dave Walker’s dance. My singing can be as sweet and light as a feather.

  10. --sheila-- on July 21st, 2008

    I thought the first photo was Dave Walker trying to deconstruct the ABC’s comment on Robinson.